Hi, I'm a total moron and have absolutly no incentive to learn anything
for myself. According to some website I saw, all my hardware is supported
under Linux. My problem is that since I'm a total moron, I'm too much of
an idiot to check and see if there's any information I could use in
/usr/doc, and using Google is DEFINATELY out of the question, but my
Sound, USB and Video card are messed up.

What I expect from this group is to have someone travel to my house at
thier own expense and make my computer work. After all, if I really wanted
to be "alternative" anyhow, I'd have bought a Mac in the first place!