On Thu, 18 Dec 2003 08:54:36 -0500, Leonard the Committed
<ccssk@nospumchartermi.net> wrote:

>Hi, I'm a total moron and have absolutly no incentive to learn anything
>for myself.

Oh. So you currently use Microsoft Windows XP.

>According to some website I saw, all my hardware is supported
>under Linux. My problem is that since I'm a total moron, I'm too much of
>an idiot to check and see if there's any information I could use in
>/usr/doc, and using Google is DEFINATELY out of the question, but my
>Sound, USB and Video card are messed up.

OK, that's because you are, as you say, a total idiot.

>What I expect from this group is to have someone travel to my house at
>thier own expense and make my computer work. After all, if I really wanted
>to be "alternative" anyhow, I'd have bought a Mac in the first place!

Sure, I'll be right over.

Of course, I'll be bringing my wife and my dog. You will supply free food,
lodging, telephone, cable, and broadband internet access for the duration of my
stay. My wife and I will be sleeping in your bedroom. The dog, of course, will
sleep on your couch.

I don't promise to fix your problems. I simply will show up, and monopolize your
time and money to no usefull end. Once I get bored, or you run out of money,
I'll go home. I get to take your computer with me (there's a chance I'll be able
to fix it once I get home), but if you want it back, you'll have to supply a
proper size envelope and suitable postage.

You will do all of this happily because, as you say, you are an idiot.

--
Lew Pitcher
IT Consultant, Enterprise Technology Solutions
Toronto Dominion Bank Financial Group

(Opinions expressed are my own, not my employers')